Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Caden Roy VanNostran

*WARNING*



I have been asked by several people to post pictures of Caden on the blog. However, not everyone likes to view the pictures of him after he passed. So, there is one at the bottom of this post so if you don't want to see it, don't look. But, it's not that bad..he just looks like a
sleeping Angel....

So, several of you, who may be new or old friends that were not around at the time of Caden's birth and death have asked to see photos and hear the story of our sweet angel.
He was 2 lbs 5 oz and 15 inches long when he was born on March 21, 2008 - ten weeks early. Here is the BRIEF version on the story....He had developed a virus, CMV (Cytomegalovirus) which he contracted from me in utero. This virus caused him to quit growing inside me and caused his heart to drop. So, after being sent to the hospital (following a routine visit to the doctor and ultrasound where they determined there was a problem) on Wednesday, they gave me steroid shots to boost his lungs and he was delivered by emergency c-section on Friday morning at 6:15 am. He was perfect, just small, when he was born. But, about 12 hours afterwards, he started to develop the symptoms of this CMV. So, we knew that's what we were going to face. We had a week of ups and downs with him in the NICU. On the next Saturday, the 29th of March, he developed a secondary infection of an unknown origin. He was just ultimately too tiny and weak to fight all the junk that was attcking his precious tiny body. He passed away that night at 11 pm in Richie's arms. There is much more to the story but those are the highlights.

Here is a picture of Caden taken shortly after he was born. He was perfect.
Here is the one taken by the PRECIOUS nurses that night after he passed away. They took a lot of photos and took their time and handled him so sweetly to make sure that we had the perfect shot of our baby boy since these were the only photos that we will ever have of him.
We love and miss you baby boy.



Monday, September 29, 2008

Six Months Ago.......

Wow. Hard to believe six months have gone by since our lives completely changed. Today is the six month anniversary of losing our precious Caden. I can't beleive it. We still think about him everyday. I get mad and think to myself that we should have a baby at home, that he should be learning to sit up, we should be starting solid food, we should be enjoying all the milestones that come with a six-month old. A good friend came over to see mom yesterday and she has a baby boy that will be six months in a week and a half. I held him the whole time she was here and thought to myself "this should be Caden". I know that it was not God's plan for us to keep him and that there is a reason for that. That gives me peace and I know that Caden is in Heaven, waiting on us, and enjoying being spoiled by his great-grandmothers and his grandaddy Mike. However, even though we have Peace, it still hurts like hell.
We miss you baby boy.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Our Family

This is just an updated family picture that we took last Sunday after church.



Sunday Dress

We all know how my mommy loves to dress me up on Sundays and can't resist taking my picture. This was last Sunday(the 21st), which would have been Caden's 6 month birthday. This outfit has special meaning to Mommy. She and Nana went into Strasburg the week before she had Caden and looked at this outfit. Mommy almost bought them for Caden and I to wear to have our first pictures together taken. She even had them in her hands, walking around the store. For some reason, which now she understands, she placed them back on the rack and did not buy them. A few weeks ago, Mommy went to into Strasburg and this was the only one of this outfit left - and it was on clearance and it was my size. So, needless to say she bought it and has been waiting for the "right" Sunday for me to wear it and when she realized what Sunday was, she decided it was the Perfect Day. I was a Perfect Little Sailor.


I love to read my books in the car - this was on the way home from church.


Time Out

Mommy bought me this new t-shirt at Target (where else?!?). She said it describes me perfectly. I wore it for the first time Friday.


How mean am I?!?
*Just in case you can't read it - it says "This is my Time Out Shirt. I wear it all day long."

Randoms....

Playing Nintendo DS with T

Reading my book on the way home from church



Saturday, September 20, 2008

Bed Head

When I got up from my nap this afternoon, this is what my hair looked like!!